Lost in Translation

Halloween isn't a Chinese holiday. Never-the-less, it was celebrated at full force here in Beijing as there are a lot of foreigners as well as foreign bars.

I knew I had to have a costume but its not like China is selling witches hats or tridents at the local WuMart. Creativity had to come in to play.

I decided to go as a serial killer. The look? I taped small cereal boxes all over myself and carried around a fake plastic knife. Cereal/serial killer- get it?

My Chinese co-workers certainly didn't. I put it on Friday night in the office and they all started laughing. I thought they understood my play on words.

Nope. The Chinese don't eat cereal for breakfast over here, in fact many have never even seen the stuff. One person thought I was wearing cracker boxes.

When I tried to explain myself, I realized the costume and my sense of humor were lost in translation. At least, I thought, expats at the bars would get it. I thought wrong. An American guy said he was trying to figure it out and just couldn't. I don't know if he was inebriated or just stupid. Cereal killer people- how hard is that?!

I invited some of my co-workers to experience Halloween with me, so we piled in cabs and headed to a place called Cheers. It was a typical American bar with a pool table, dim lighting and a loud band playing.

We get a table and I turn to the group- sheer fear is on their faces.
1. They had never been in a bar like this as they are used to sitting around tables and drinking at restaurants, if anywhere. They don't just go out for drinks here- it is a very foreign concept for them.
2. There were paintings of naked women, spread eagle on the walls. I didn't know this before we came. Very risque. Pay attention to the background of one of my pictures.
3. Everyone there was in costume, full blown costume. Guys were in drag (complete with heels), one girl was just wearing a leather dominatrix outfit, there were angels, devils, monsters, political figures. You name it- we saw it.

One guy turns to me and asks if he is free to leave whenever he wanted saying that this was a bit much for him. I felt horrible. I had no idea this was going to be that much of a culture shock. I let everyone know they were free to go whenever they wanted and then made a bee-line for the bar. Beer- I needed beer and not just for me.

After everyone had a bottle, they started to lighten up a bit. I explained that they need to be open-minded when trying new things, just like I was open-minded when I came to China. This seemed to click.

Pretty soon I was able to drag a few people on to the dance floor where we met a Chinese Michael Jackson in white-face. Is this politically incorrect?

Oh well, I am pretty sure what I just put my co-workers through could be classified as pretty incorrect as well. China will never be the same....

Either way, at least I am not the only one doing the corrupting. Check out some of my expat friends below:

Mike the drunken priest (he actually bought this real robe at a religious store in Beijing) and Anais the 50's housewife. She is from France. Did they have housewives in the 50's in France?

Jeremy as a Beijing Cab driver. I have to give it to him, this was pretty good except he was not continuously hocking loogies out windows, picking his nose, smoking with the windows up or coming close to maiming anyone. Yes, all of the above are true cabbie traits. He did however, smell like a cabbie. My congrats.

Donna. Ah yes, Donna. Can you guess what she was supposed to be? She is also a journalist who decided to do a non-literal costume and like mine, it didn't go over well. At least we tried. She is VH1 Behind the Music.